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Apple Hates You

by September 28, 2007
Apple Hates You

Apple Hates You

Let's face it, Apple hates you. They really do. But they make such nice stuff it's just so darn hard to get mad. Well, that's why I'm here. I'm that friend that's telling you you're being taken advantage of. Your fly is down. There's some schmutz on your face. Your girlfriend just got caught with the school jock. You get the idea. I'm here for you and I'm going to tell you the hard, bitter, awful truth cause you need to hear it.

You have a "Mac-ing" problem. Oh, and Steve Jobs is the anti-Christ.

Sure, you've got it all under control. You're OK with recent decisions by Apple that affect your impulsive iPhone purchase and you can quit anytime you want to. But you don't want to. Do you? Come on, the first step to recovery is admitting you're an addict.

And Steve Jobs? Well, on the outside he's a smiling, pleasant man who cares so much about the environment that he probably has his Toyota Prius air-lifted to meet his private jet when he lands for remote speaking engagements (ah, who am I kidding, Jobs never leaves Cupertino). Inside, Jobs is... different. He's manipulative. Devious. Calculating. In a word: Evil.

Cases in point:

Apple Performs a Major *ahem* "Bug Fix" for the iPhone with Firmware 1.1.1

  • While this sounds innocent enough, this recent "fix" actually results in a complete eradication of most all the third party apps - presumably on purpose, however we can't say for sure
  • The update may potentially "brick" (as in turn your iPod into a worthless hunk of aluminum and glass) any unlocked iPod.
  • All non-iTunes Store ringtones are broken (ie. rendered useless) with the update
  • The iPhone no longer works with the iPod HiFi with firmware 1.1.1

Apple Drops iPhone Price a Scant 60 Days After Debut

  • Ouch. Early adopters typically expect prices to go down eventually, however a $200 price drop in 60 days is a new record and a new low, even for Apple.
  • It's OK, though cause Steve Jobs fessed up and poured out his heart to his followers
  • Also you get a $100 door prize to spend on more great Apple stuff. Considering almost nothing in the Apple Store sells for less than $100, we call this "Getting iPhwned"

Want to Replace That New iPhone Battery? That'll be 3 Days and $79, Please...

  • Some things are simply too obvious to even think about. I mean, EVERY cell phone in the WORLD has a user-replaceable battery, so naturally Apple's new iPhone will be user-serviceable as well, right? Wrong.
  • Early adopters everywhere heaved a collective "Oh snap!" after realizing that they'd actually have to send in their $600 iPhones after a year or so to have the batteries replaced by Apple.
  • Maybe Apple was afraid user-replaceable batteries would allow gremlins to infiltrate the phone? Maybe that's where they hide the super secret locator beacon. We just don't know.

AppleTV 40GB or 160GB?

  • Apple users were introduced to the IPTV product dubbed AppleTV and bought it in droves... only to find that two months later they could snag a model with 4x the storage for only $100 more.
  • The original 40GB model is not upgradable.

iPod Game Buyers Forced to Repurchase Same Games at Retail

  • Apple had several games available via its iTunes store for use with video iPods, including Tetris, Mini Golf, Pac-Man, Texas Hold-em, Sims Bowling and Sims Pools
  • These games were only compatible with a particular swath of iPods
  • If you bought any of these games and lost/upgraded/etc to a new iPod you would have to repurchase a new compatible version at full price  since no updates were made available to existing customers. The games are not, for the most part, either forwards or backwards compatible

Apple Ships iPods to Customers with Windows Worm

  • In October, 2006 Apple admitted they shipped a number of iPods to customers with a Windows Worm included, free of charge
  • Instead of simply issuing a standard press release, Apple - in classic Jobsonian style, took the opportunity to throw a dig at Microsoft.

2005-06 iMac Fiasco

  • The iMac G5 with "gee-wiz" ambient light sensor shipped in May of 2005.
  • 5 months later, a new G5 with revamped specs arrived with built-in iSight
  • 3 months later came the Intel chip versions, at much faster speeds - for the same price. Ouch.

2004 Update Breaks Ability to Easily Xfer Files to Mac from iPod

  • In October of 2004, Apple updated iTunes to version 4.7, with the "improvement" of breaking the iPod Download app
  • The update was to comply with nagging requests of record labels, forcing users to turn to third-party apps (also subject to breaking after updates) in order to simply move files back and forth from their iPods.

The First iMac

  • Ah, the first iMac. With its 233MHz processor and under-powered graphics chip it was so cute... so innovative.... so short-lived.
  • Two months later the original iMac was replaced by a system with triple the video RAM (6MB).
  • Users could now actually play Myst on the revision, but not the original.

So what am I saying here? Is it bad that Apple constantly upgrades, updates and improves its product lines? No, it's not. But if you review, it's the timelines of many of these issues that take precedent as being problematic. Dropping the price of a product by 33% is normally a good thing. Doing it 2 months after debut is tantamount to severe abuse of your early adopters. Apple has a history of putting out products and then systematically causing wave after wave of buyers' remorse as they flip their lines months after a product is released.

So back to my initial point: Your fly is down. Now what are you going to do about it?

 

About the author:
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Clint Deboer was terminated from Audioholics for misconduct on April 4th, 2014. He no longer represents Audioholics in any fashion.

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Recent Forum Posts:

Nimrod posts on October 05, 2007 16:42
zildjian, post: 316691
I used to get a lot of grief in the late 80's and early 90's for using Mac's.


A lot of data is pointing out that Apple is obtaining “Critical Mass”
jliedeka posts on October 05, 2007 16:22
I guess you could say the same thing about Apple as about Elvis and Jesus. I like some of their work but their fans can be kinda scary.
AlphaWolf posts on October 05, 2007 15:32
awesomebase, post: 316659
I find it funny how everyone seems to jump on the bandwagon when something becomes popular to do without taking much into consideration. I think Apple is getting attacked (whether in jest or seriously) by just about everybody that has any kind of online presence because they’re actually successful at what they do.

In my experience, most people could care less about apple. The thing they get annoyed about are apple fans.

I remember one time hearing about how Kim Kommando (I don't listen to her show, just heard about this) gave a macintosh an average review once, not saying she really liked it and not saying she didn't like it, and she got practically ambushed by a bunch of mac fans on her website, some of them even sending her death threats.

This is an ongoing thing too, it happens all the time. Not necessarily to the high extremes, but you noticed earlier how I said I am not terribly impressed with OSX, and the response I get isn't exactly forthcoming. (btw I agree on the unix bits that were mentioned earlier, I have been using linux for years, but then again bash on OSX is somewhat annoying due to the way the terminal window is handled by the operating system - if you use it for a while you'll know what I mean.)

The most recent example I can think of using the extremes is this one:

http://www.computerworld.com.au/index.php/id;737532235

Somebody does the same kind of security research on windows or linux on the other hand, nobody thinks twice of it.
zildjian posts on October 05, 2007 11:06
I used to get a lot of grief in the late 80's and early 90's for using Mac's. My godparents were Apple developers in the mid 80's, and they got it too from the PC loyal anti-mac crowd. I still say now what I said then, get the tool you need for the job. If you need a flat head screwdriver, get a flat head screwdriver… Phillips if you need a phillips… If you work best on a Windows OS or a Mac OS, then that's the best machine for you. It's what you use best. I still can do more on my Mac than my Windows machine, but I've also used Mac's for 20 years now. Bickering and saying one is better that the other is ridiculous. Funny enough though is how Windows has gotten more and more like the Mac OS with each version since Windows 1.0 (which it's origin is a long story many already know). Yet many die hard Windows users still think the Mac OS is inferior… It's laughable on both sides. Love them or hate them, we can't deny that Apple's designs have a significant influence over other company's products and have been copied by others repeatedly; that influence by Apple I still surprises me with only 6% of the computer market share. I use both Windows/Dell and Macintosh computers and like features of both. I have a Windows/Dell laptop because that's what my work provides for me, and I have my Mac tower at home. My friend who's an IT guy has a Macbook Pro that he says actually runs Windows better than his 4 month old Dell does, I don't know how exactly he means, but it's ironic. The Mac OS is still inherently a more stable OS than Windows is even today, but it's less a difference now than it used to be as the Windows OS has gotten a lot better in recent years. Do Mac's come at a high price, sure they do! Personally I rather spend the extra $500 for a Mac and not have the headaches I have had with some of my Windows machines, but again, that's personal preference and priority. Just use the tool you need, and you'll never have to complain. Simple.
awesomebase posts on October 05, 2007 10:23
Movies work on Apple TV

BMXTRIX, post: 314621
Am I interested in Apple products?

Absolutely! If they actually were to make something, just ONE thing, that actually did perform better than product that was half the price I might be interested. The AppleTV? Great product! Except, I actually have all my DVDs, in their original DVD format on hard drives in my home… AppleTV compatibility? Nope!

Any MPEG movies (and a host of other formats) will work on AppleTV… plenty of people do what you're doing… all you do is “drag and drop” them into iTunes and you're set to go! How is that not easy?
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