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Top Ten Reasons To Buy "Cubed" Speakers

by August 29, 2004

Marketing can sometimes be the most misleading source of propaganda about a particular product, especially when it is aimed at the average neophyte consumer of home audio electronics. Many consumers buy audio products based solely on the advertisement, name recognition, and product reviews. At the very best case in this scenario, the consumer may actually decide to demo the product briefly in a noisy showroom focusing more on functionality and appearance rather than fidelity. For this reason, I have come up with a comical approach to counteract the misleading hype you may be continuously bombarded with regarding "Cubed Speaker Systems" by {marketing, salespeople, and/or audio consumer magazine reviews}.

Here's the Top 10 list:

1) You like your bass Boomy with poor extension with unwanted vocals as a bonus from the so-called paper cone "Subwoofer" [Frequency response from 50Hz-250Hz (unpublished of course)].

2) You love 2 1ù2 inch "Cubed" Satellites that are made from space age paper which are too small to accurately reproduce midrange, yet too large to produce accurate treble extension.

3) You enjoy bright fatiguing treble with a high frequency roll of (-3dB) at 12Khz with emphasis at around 7Khz that give the illusion of treble in a noisy showroom.

4) You just can't get enough boomy, hollow bass with cabinets constructed from the lowest grade particleboard and with no internal bracing on the "Subwoofer".

5) A frequency gap of about 200Hz between the "Subwoofer" and "Cubes" assists you in discerning and localizing where the "Cubes" and "Subwoofer" are located incase they disappear from your vision temporarily.

6) Your wife insists on a small speaker footprint allowing for easy placement in any room dßcor, and clock radio sound performance doesn't really bother you. You may want to buy multiple systems and place them in every room for clock radio "sound every where" (you may have a few grand burning a hole in your pockets.)

7) You are OK with, after becoming so fed up with the poor sound quality of these speakers, utilizing the "Subwoofer" as an excellent, but expensive doorstop or foot stool. You may also enjoy using the cubes, after pulling out the $2 paper cone drivers, as decorative cup holders or drink coasters.

8) You are pleased with having sound of similar or worse fidelity as speakers from respectable manufacturers costing 1/3 the amount, making pretty much make any competing speaker sound really good.

9) You are content that if you buy a particular model of these speakers today, in five years the replacement model will have gone through several series changes indicated as a Roman Numeral at the end of the model. However, you'll be assured that the internal components and sound characteristics will remain unchanged so you will not need to upgrade, unless of course a new color is offered.

10) You can buy these speakers at almost any department store making it easy for you to return them after a few days of painful listening.

Now that's progress!

Enjoy the music!


About the author:
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Gene manages this organization, establishes relations with manufacturers and keeps Audioholics a well oiled machine. His goal is to educate about home theater and develop more standards in the industry to eliminate consumer confusion clouded by industry snake oil.

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