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Are YOU an Audioholic? Take the Test!

by May 07, 2007
Are you an audioholic?

Are you an audioholic?

Did you know that 1 in 3 people suffer from some form of Audio Addiction? 1 in 3! Of those people, 21% suffer from the most severe form, Audioholicism. Did you know that 82.5% of statistics are made up on the spot by writers trying to be overly clever? Well, Audioholics.com in conjunction with The Home Theater Alliance, AV Rant, and the OPRA Opine Ominbus.Org have combined their considerable resources to bring you the definitive measurement tool for assessing your level of Audioholicism. Be wary, you might not like what you find out about yourself!

Directions for the test are simple: Keep a close eye on the directions on the left. When it tells you to pick one, you can only get points for ONE of the selections. Bonus and “Pick all that are appropriate” directions mean just that. Be honest, this test is only valid when the taker is completely and totally honest.

After completing the entire test, take your section totals and put them in the appropriate places at the bottom of the form. Calculate the Subtotal (total of everything EXCEPT Additional Symptoms) and Grand Total (total of everything).

Here is the breakdown of your level of audio addiction based on your SUBTOTAL alone:

Subtotal

Audio Addiction Level

0 – 10 points

Why are you taking this test? You a hypochondriac? How did you find this test anyhow? Who are you? Get out of here!

11 – 30 points

You have a nice piece of equipment or two, nothing to worry about. You may have visited an audio website for setup tips but that’s about it.

31 – 60 points

There are signs that an audio addiction is creeping into your life. Larger speakers, talks of upgrades, spending copious amounts of time on AV websites digesting information and making comments.

61 – 90 points

Early stage Audioholicism – immediate intervention needed. Spending increasing and talk is constantly focused on gear, technology, or the “new” sound you heard in your favorite CD with your new upgrade. You’re well known on a numerous AV websites and forums and have started hosting GTGs.

91 – 110 points

Full Blown Audioholicism – It may be too late. You’ve spent more on audio in the last year than anything else (including rent). Consider curbing your habits by exiting your home theater occasionally to meet/make friends, have fun, and see the phenomenon they call “sunlight”. And no, inviting random strangers from the internet over for listening sessions doesn’t count.

111-150 points

Hey, Typhoid Mary, why don’t you settle down on the audio stuff for a bit? If you’re not working in the industry than you’ve got a real problem. At this point you are actually contagious with Audioholicism. Should be quarantined for at least 3 months with nothing but an MP3 player and a clock radio.

151 +

At this point, you’ve probably exploded releasing the Audioholicism spores into the internet to infect others. There is nothing left to do but roll credits as the smoke from your burning body fills the night air

“Yeah, but,” you reply. We know the “Additional Symptoms” are not included in the above table. Well, take your Grand Total (including the additional symptoms modifications) and reapply to the above table and count the level change. For example, if you had 70 points before and now have 90, then you’ve gone UP one level (you have one higher level of Audioholicism). If you are now above 151, then each 50 point increment (151-200, 201-250, etc) is considered a new level. Apply that to the table below:

Level Change

Effect

-2 or more levels

You’ve been duped by slick marketing and pseudo-science mumbo jumbo. You need to spend less time trolling forums and more time reading tech articles from people that actually have degrees and stuff.

-1 levels

Poor, poor Audioholic! You’ve taken the easy path to the dark side. Sure, it is fun to think you hear things that others don’t, but rest assured, it is all in your head. Turn back now before it is too late. We can sense the good in you!

No level change

You are either completely unaware of this side of the AV world or you’ve made some good and bad choices. Either way, before you do anything else, do some research!

+1 level

You have learned well young padawan, but not yet complete is your training. You’ve made more good choices than bad and for sure you’re headed down the right path. Your purchases, though somewhat excessive, are not money wasted. Continue your training you must. Much to learn have you.

+2 or more levels

While you’ve spent more on seating than most spend on their entire system, you’ve got some of the best equipment and accessories out there. You are envied by some, pitied by most. You are sage and kind. Take others under your wing lest they be lured into believing that audio nirvana can be found in the form of a clock radio or a rock.

View the attached PDF file below for the official test!

Attached Files

 

About the author:
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As Associate Editor at Audioholics, Tom promises to the best of his ability to give each review the same amount of attention, consideration, and thoughtfulness as possible and keep his writings free from undue bias and preconceptions. Any indication, either internally or from another, that bias has entered into his review will be immediately investigated. Substantiation of mistakes or bias will be immediately corrected regardless of personal stake, feelings, or ego.

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BMXTRIX posts on February 25, 2021 10:59
There definitely are some dubious deductions and that's what kept me from the top rank with my normal score. I mean, seriously… Has Gene not heard of Plex? (lol)

Back then, I absolutely refused to use a HTPC because they were just unusable IMO. Horribly unreliable and didn't play the formats that I wanted. I ended up paying a decent amount to get Dune HD media players. They were fine… Heck, they still are. But, nothing like what Plex delivers.

Also, if you have a subwoofer that asks for a hand truck to move it, then you likely are one of the few who get bass response that can be felt at subsonic levels. Sitting in a theater where you can feel the bass, but not hear it, is pretty incredible. If someone hasn't experienced that, then they really should. Of course, that's only a 2 point deduction, so was pretty much thrown in to get a well deserved laugh. I'll take that 2 point loss any day of the week to keep my 18“ Velodyne.

Likewise, almost everyone I've spoken to who has added bass shakers to a proper theater setup, has been blown away by them. It is one thing to have them in lieu of a subwoofer… but in addition to a subwoofer? I've heard that the impact is amazing.

There are some negatives… Like me not caring about lossy audio. I get it.
I would say, still using analog video would be an example for points deduction (unless you have to because of legacy gear)
NOT streaming from at least one High Definition service provider… Doesn't everyone have at least one service they use regularly?
Maybe a bonus for being a cord cutter. (I'm not) Or replace ‘FIOS’ with ‘CORD CUTTER’ as the top point getter for how you consume television.
Bonus for actually having wired networking at all your TVs and AV devices that need it (welcome to 2010 Gene!).
Deduction for not having ANY AV devices hard wired for networking.
Deduction for not using Gigabit networking in your home.
No points for a 1080p TV. Come on, that should almost be a deduction, but they still do look good and until a few years ago, were the only game in town.
Bonus for TVs 80” or larger. I mean, 75" can be had for $600 these days. It's more about having space than money these days.
Bonus for laser projector…. Deduction for LED projector.
Bonus for OLED.
Deduction for using a speaker bar? Sigh… maybe just add a point. It's better than TV speakers.
Deduction for thinking that your speaker bar is the same as a fully installed 5.1 setup.
EXTERNAL SCALER??? HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!! Come on, those just aren't reality anymore are they? That's more like a ‘DING’ than a ‘POINT’ item these days.
How about 8K support? Is that an addition or a subtraction?
Using eARC properly?
Knowing the difference between ARC and eARC.
Using ARC (eARC) exclusively? (Deduction!)
HDMI switching in a receiver is pretty standard these days.
How about HDMI matrixing to multiple displays?
Owning a DVD player, these days, should pretty much be a deduction.
What's HD DVD? (Kidding, I actually have a Toshiba)
Owning a 4K UHD player is pretty much the standard. As is UHD streamers (Roku, AppleTV, etc.)
A deduction for having a game console as your HD player? By all accounts the PS3 was one of the best Blu-ray players on the market and basically was the core for Blu-ray winning that format war. So, yeah, anyone who uses a console has a UHD player which is a console. Shouldn't be a ding really. Also… What's a PS3????
Still have a VCR… Is that a ding or a plus? I'm not fit to judge as I have a Blu-ray/VCR combo unit.
Maybe a bonus for having a HTPC which feeds your own music and video collection with 4K and lossless audio support.
Maybe a bonus for having more than 30TB of storage? 50TB? 100TB? Storage is getting cheaper and cheaper.
The cables stuff is good, except there is no company that rhymes with ‘onster’ any more is there?
I would remove the ding for ‘hospital grade’ as a term. Hospital rated outlets actually do have a higher standard associated with them, and cost just a few bucks more than standard outlets. Not sure what else would be used that would be considered hospital grade, and spending more than $10 on an outlet is pretty much insane.
Some points should be in place for voice control options.
Lighting control should be a standard point item I would think vs. a bonus point item.
A deduction for not having a good universal remote control of some kind.
Perhaps an addition for paying a professional to do the work because you didn't have the skill set to do it all yourself.
A bigger addition for doing the work yourself because you went online and learned how to do it.

Guys have got to have a ton more ideas to help update this article and bring it into 2021.
Pogre posts on February 24, 2021 15:37
lovinthehd, post: 1463513, member: 61636
LOL I picked up a few points for multiple 5.1 systems and a 2.0
Either way we're both contagious spore spreaders and “new level” audioholics!
lovinthehd posts on February 24, 2021 15:34
Maybe we should distill some ideas for a new worksheet…..
lovinthehd posts on February 24, 2021 15:33
Pogre, post: 1463511, member: 79914
I think BMX nailed it. An update is in order for sure. Quite a few questions are pretty dated, and agree there are some dubious deductions.

I lost out on some points for only having one 5.1 system in the whole house. I barely have a second 2.1 in another room, but it's there and sees fairly regular use. It's my Craigslist speaker finds system, lol.
LOL I picked up a few points for multiple 5.1 systems and a 2.0
Pogre posts on February 24, 2021 15:32
lovinthehd, post: 1463506, member: 61636
I didn't deduct for my subs because I can still either pick them up or remove drivers or other helpful things when moving There were several questionable deductions in various places, even for that time.
I think BMX nailed it. An update is in order for sure. Quite a few questions are pretty dated, and agree there are some dubious deductions.

I lost out on some points for only having one 5.1 system in the whole house. I barely have a second 2.1 in another room, but it's there and sees fairly regular use. It's my Craigslist speaker finds system, lol.
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