Twas the Night Before an Audioholic's Christmas...
Rumbled five-point-one DVD-audio from Strauss
The system all calibrated with the utmost of care
To demo for St. Nicholas who soon would be there
The children lay sleeping all snug in their beds
With soft foamy ear plugs stuffed into their heads
And Ma with her mudslide and I with my beer
Had just settled down for some holiday cheer
Then all of a sudden there came such a clatter
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter
I scrambled for the remote in a hurried flash
And down on the eject button my finger did mash
The display flickered once then started to glow
And across the thing something started to show
When what to my startled eyes should appear
But an EPROM failure as I looked on with fear
Then it sputtered and beeped and made a loud click
I started to sweat and I felt kind of sick
I pushed 'eject' once and out the tray came
But I knew by the sound it would not be the same
No more Dolby, nor DTS or DVD Audio I dread
For I knew in that instant my transport was dead
There sat my prized player with faint pulsing glow
Then Ma sighed and said "Aw, now no Christmas shows!"
I said "Now just wait, there just must be a way."
So I pushed every button and shoved in the tray
But it was just no use for this old piece of gear
We'll most certainly miss A Christmas Story this year
So I turned off the player and unplugged all the cords
And placed it downstairs on a pile of boards
I returned to the den and sat down feeling sad
Then Ma said "Cheer up! It's Christmas - be glad!"
I said "You are right," and we finished our drinks
Then we both drifted off and caught 40 winks
I awoke in the morn to the sounds of pure joy
As our kids rushed the tree and saw all their toys
They looked out the window at the new fallen snow
Their faces all lit with a wondrous glow
Ma brought in coffee and hot chocolate and cake
But the kids were excited - and no way would they wait
They ran straight for the gifts, yelling with glee
"Santa's come! Santa's come! Just look at our tree!"
I sat down next to Ma and sipped on my drink
I gave her a nod and she gave me a wink
We watched on with awe as the wrapping papers flew
At the rate they were going they soon would be through
Their eyes were like lanterns as they brightly beamed
For they were so happy and got all that they dreamed
And at last it was over and all was unwrapped
They climbed on the couch and sat on our laps
And both together they shouted out loud
"Let's watch a movie, Pop, let's watch one right now!"
And then my heart sank as remembered last night
I said "Kids, we can't" and then told them my plight
They both looked so sad and started to get down
When all of a sudden my jaw hit the ground
Ma yelled out "Hey look, right over there!"
And the little one exclaimed, "I knew Santa was here!"
Completely surprised, I just laughed to myself
For a new player sat there right on top of the shelf
I walked over closer and there was a card
So I reached out and took it my hands shaking hard
I read it out loud not stopping to pause
It said " Merry Christmas to Pop from Old Santa Claus."
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