Don't Like Your Job at Blockbuster? Stab Yourself!

According to an article at The Smoking Gun, Aaron Siebers, a 27-year-old Blockbuster employee, decided that it would be better to stab himself than go work at Blockbuster Video. While in principle I can sympathize, it was a little odd to see someone actually carry out something like this in real life. Aaron was apparently skateboarding Wednesday afternoon when he fell and ripped his work pants. Since he knew he would be "written up" by Blockbuster for having ripped pants (or for wearing non-standard pants), he decided to stab himself in the leg and show up claiming he had been attacked by three Hispanic males. Smooth move, Ex-lax.

I suppose calling in sick was simply out of the question...

But that wasn't the end. Police were called and Siebers, not wanting to back out just yet, told cops he was assaulted as he walked toward the Blockbuster, had a deep stab wound in one leg and several other minor cuts on his face and stomach. Unfortunately for Aaron (but fortunate for the rest of us) assault with a deadly weapon is a rather serious offense, and police quickly went to work. When surveillance video from outside a Target store (where this nimrod claimed the attack occurred) was reviewed, no such attack could be found. Confronted by cops, Siebers admitted that he had stabbed himself. He confessed about his skateboarding accident, the resulting ripped pants, and how "he did not want to lose his job so he stabbed himself in the leg." Now Siebers has been named in a criminal complaint charging him with filing a false report and obstructing police, both misdemeanors. Here's a quick over view of the Do's and Don'ts of accepted employee behavior when dealing with an issue at work involving discipline, clothing or other potential disciplinary action:

What Not to Do

• Hurt yourself or otherwise rip your work clothes
• Hurt yourself further to cover it up
• Make up a cover story
• Ensure your cover story involves appropriate racial profiling
• Fail to research your story or its ability to hold up under even minimum scrutiny

What We Recommend to Do

• Don't do dangerous activities in work clothing
• Tell the truth
• When in doubt, call in sick
  

And most importantly... If you don't like your job; before you actually stab yourself, try quitting.